Big Hearts are for Sharing!

     Well, it has been awhile since I have posted to the blog. I have been busy as I am sure many of you have been too. Many things have happened since my last post. Some sad things and wonderful things too.
     I know so many people that are struggling with financial issues, illness and grief this holiday season. My heart goes out to each and every one of them. I know we do not have the ability to fix it for them but we can offer them our ears, prayers and love.
    I have seen quite a few incidents of people paying it forward. This always warms my heart. Paying it forward is such a simple act of kindness and one we can all participate in. It does not have to be something big, but it does have to come from your heart.
     Speaking of hearts, there are many people out there with great big hearts. Some have the heart of a lion fighting cancer, some of a poet, with their hearts resting on a sleeve, others hearts are so big because they are filled with compassion for others.
     I am blessed...my friends have big hearts, some even have gianormous hearts.
    I celebrated my birthday with wonderful friends. First with the girls at Rosa & Roccos. Had a great time and many laughs with Brenda, Joey, Lois, Kathy, Marcela and Beth.
    I got to celebrate again with my friends, The Cackling Hens where there are four birthdays in our group. Cheese Cake Factory and the comedy club. We had a blast, shared laughs and gifts.
   I am thankful for all of those that sent birthday cards and wishes and helped me celebrate. Best of all these things make great memories. I am truly blessed.
   Have you heard of Random Words of Encouragement? It is something everyone and anyone can participate in. We are celebrating this in my community January17, 2014. I hope people from every community participates. It is simple,  you place five random words of encouragement around the town you live in. You can be creative and put your message on cookies, balloons or wherever your heart desires. Thank You Amber Stone-Cameron for inviting me. Very excited to see how it affects others. I will share the link on my facebook page.
    I will also be sharing another link, I am trying to win a little boy, an electronic video magnifier. With the support of friends and a caring community, I know it can be done. https://www.facebook.com/?ref=tn_tnmn#!/photo.php?fbid=559085070840465&set=a.341095785972729.80640.296358023779839&type=1&theater
Just like my comment to help win this for the little guy. I wish I could win one for everyone in need. I have to start somewhere and so this link is hopefully just the beginning.
    I picked this little guy first for many reasons. He is in elementary school. He is so bright and energetic.
    I do not know how you develop a love for reading when you cannot see the words.  I want to give him the opportunity to love words and see all of the magic books can bring him so that he has a love for it all while he is still young. I hate to see him struggle in school.
    I cannot tell you how devastated I was when I could no longer read print. Regular hand-held magnifiers could no longer do the trick. I love words and books. Like a thief in the night that was taken from me. Of course I was still grateful that I could see but not being able to read robbed my soul.
    When the original Kindle came out, I was so excited. They were back ordered after Oprah brought it out on her show. I joined the waiting list and was in correspondence with Amazon. I wanted to know how big I could make the font before I purchased it. They inquired why I would ask. I told them that I wanted to make sure I could read it. They were very nice and when I got my Kindle they had upgraded me to the Kindle II which was not yet out because of the font capacity and there is a way for me to upgrade my fonts.
    I cannot even describe the joy I felt at being able to read a book again.
    It is frustrating to not be able to read your mail, the newspaper, magazines, menus, price and more without help. It steals a piece of your soul and your privacy too.
    I have been fortunate with all of these things because before the technology allowed me to read  these things, my friends, family and co-workers assisted me.
     I loved today's sermon at church. I have a feeling it will definitely prompt me to think outside of the box this Christmas as I give out gifts...never mind that I have never seen the box. Some of the best things in life are unseen.
   I want to hear what everyone's Christmas wishes are. Please leave me some comments or private message me.
   Until next week


     
   

    I have been away from the blog for too long. My guess is it is because my thoughts have not been focused. My mind has been here, there and everywhere and sometimes I just couldn't find it...my mind or the words.
   This summer has been full of reunions, high school, middle school and family reunions. It was great to see those from high school and middle school.
      I enjoyed the Wilcox reunion as well as the Hook-Brown reunion. It is always great to see family and share memories.
   Reunions are also a great reminder of how time slips by too fast. Too often we get mired in the day to day routines of our lives and forget to enjoy the small things in life and the people that have impacted our lives.
   The great thing about reunions is that it allows us to connect, reconnect and rekindle relationships that always stay with us.
    I have stayed away from the blog for other reasons as well. I like my messages to be upbeat and thought provoking. I have seen so many negative things in the past several months that I would have found myself giving lectures on many things and that is not my style.
   Did you know that October 15th is White Cane Safety Day? Just thought I would share that before I share a white cane story with you from a few weeks ago. It also touches on the subject of relationships...ok...more specifically dating.
   Friday night, I met with some friends that I went to school with over 35 years ago. That went fine. Then I had a date…dating is always hard but it is really tough when you are visually impaired.
We decide to join some other friends. We all met for dinner and cocktails. If you have been to my house you know that I have a large screen TV with a magnifier attached to it. We get to the restaurant and he is absolutely SHOCKED that I cannot read the menu. Now he had been at my house not more than a half an hour before and saw the TV and even asked about the magnifier and of course I explained to him that I could not see the TV without it. I guess you cannot make the deduction that if a person cannot see a 50 inch TV that a menu may not be legible.
   Sometimes I use a video magnifier but sometimes I leave that at work where I use it constantly. (I still have a difficult time packing for work---I carry enough stuff that you would think I am going on a weekend get-a-way). My friends are all used to it.
He decided that he would order for me because after all, if I could not read the menu, how could I possibly know what I wanted to eat? Did that mean I was indecisive or brain dead? Of course I stopped him.
  Dating and relationships are hard for everyone. You would think it might get a bit easier as we get older but that is not the case. If anything, it gets more difficult. Not quite sure why it is not simple.
  Sunday, I just felt like doing something crazy. I walked up over the overpass with my white cane. Now I am sure the view at the top shows several city blocks and it was kind of freeing even with all of the traffic. A few cars stopped and asked what I was doing. I told them I just felt like being up in the air and I walked on concrete that had some semblance of a sidewalk. There were no signs that said no bicycles or pedestrians.
  Some asked me how I got around, I told them when I was not riding my V8 double engine, post-menopausal broom that I drifted around with my magic white cane and climbed mountains. One person asked me if I knew where I was, I said why are you lost? We all found humor in the conversations and laughed a bit. 
   Sunday night I made dinner and because my son loves fruit we had pears for dessert. The boy never questioned a thing. I gave him what I thought was pears in heavy syrup. After he ate the entire bowl, he said that the whole white potatoes were really good even though they were cold. He did not even mention that that made the meal a two potato meal. So the next night I made a cake. :)
   I am struggling a little more off and on with my vision but I have gotten some great laughs from it. I also have the opportunity to share some of them with you as well as others in similar situations. All of my visually impaired friends have a great sense of humor.
   Onto another note...I am very happy to see that Marion and the surrounding communities are supporting so many causes;  whether it is breast cancer awareness, education or fundraisers for those in need.  It is great to see the community come together and offer their love and support.
   Until the next inkdrop flows....


  

   
  

Change

Today's topic is letting go and holding on. Sometimes these two are intermingled. Sometimes you have to let go to hold onto your sanity.

Sometimes you have to let go of the past to hold onto the future.

This is all part of change...you know, that thing no one really likes -  but it constant, ever pressing and ongoing.

One must be changeable and adaptable to survive. Flexible is not enough. If we want to grow as people we have to be willing to dive right into the pool of change. Step right out of our comfort zone and into the abyss.

This past year has made me Gumby like and I am sure it will continue.

Recent events have weighed heavily on my heart. The Boston and Texas tragedies serve as a reminder of how precious life is. Too often we take it all for granted. I spent time in Massachusetts and I thought of all the people I knew that could have been particpating and/or watching the marathon. After all it was Patriots Day.

Sometimes we go through our days oblivious to others around us. Lately, I find myself watching/studying people. I am not sure why. It is something that I have done for years off and on. It has given me many things to write about. Sometimes you can feel the life of a stranger...you can walk around in their heart and mind maybe just a little bit.

I wanted to write about some of the people and/or events I witnessed in the last couple of weeks.

Ancient Eyes

I watched a man today,
He must have been a hundred years old.
What he wanted to say...
Was left untold.

I stand as his proxy,
Because no one seemed to hear,
No on seemed to see
And no one seemed to care.

An ancient man shuffles down the street,
Handing out smiles to the children there.
He gazes into defeat
As the children just stare.

My friend continues on slow moving feet
Passing out a random good day,
But again...he is beat
When he is told to go away.

With his eyes cast down
He rounds the bend
In search of anyone who will listen.
In quest of the friend he has been missing.

To catch up I quicken my pace
Ready to take in a tale or two.
I looked up into a lined face
Revealing all that he had been through.

Why did it take so many tries?
I wondered
As I looked into those smiling ancient eyes.

© Cheryl Wilcox 2013




Strangers in My path

She asks me if she's pretty,
A furrow in her brow.
I tell her she is beautiful
Peace envelops her now.

He smiles at me
With laughter in his eyes.
I smile back at him,
He is caught by surprise.

In silence, he tells me
The story of his life.
He doesn't need to please me,
I've seen the grief and strife.

He doesn't want me to know
What his life is all about
That he lives on the streets,
Hungry inside and out.

I smile at him
Acceptance he doesn't realize
When I look at him,
I see Jesus in his eyes.

© Cheryl Wilcox 2013

Until our paths cross again.

Who Are You

Who Are You?

　

Are we mice or men? Leaders or followers? Winners or losers? Action takers or bystanders?

Most people would probably answer that we are men, leaders, winners and action takers. The sad truth is, that this is simply not true. The media has shown portrait after portrait proving this point.

The bystander effect has invaded our world. At its best, it is a twist on mob mentality. It is not a new phenomenon. It’s history dates back to the bible. For example, this is clearly seen in the Parable of the Good Samaritan. Jesus tells a story to a lawyer, who, in all other ways, is blameless and upright in God’s eyes. He obeys the Ten Commandments, and loves his neighbor as himself. But he asks Jesus, “Who is my neighbor?”

Jesus then in parable form explains, that everyone is everyone’s neighbor, and that help should be offered to anyone in need, regardless of who or what that person is.

A Jew is walking down a road and is attacked by bandits, who beat him profoundly, strip his clothes, rob him and leave him for dead. Sometime later, a priest walks by and when he sees the Jew, he moves to the other side of the road. He walked by without helping in any way. A Levite sees him as well and continues on his way without helping this man either.

A Samaritan (considered by the Jews to be outcasts) comes by, sees and immediately helps him, He takes the beaten man to a nearby inn, cares for him, and pays for his keep.

. “Which of these is the neighbor of the Jew who is beaten by robbers?” Jesus asked. “The merciful one,” replied the lawyer. Jesus told the lawyer to “Go and do likewise.”

Let’s take a look at Thomas Edison and his followers. Edison is famous for his many inventions and electrical achievements but did you know his experiments were cruel and unusual?

Thomas Edison electrocuted Topsy the Elephant and many other animals including: horses, lions, tigers, and bears. Edison was happy to aid the state of New York by executing these “menaces to society.” He did this by employing alternating currents, but his ulterior motive was designed to show the world the danger of the alternating current, invented by Nikola Tesla, which was his arch-rival. Edison’s direct current didn’t have the strength to electrocute an elephant, and he considered it safer. How did he show the public how safe the current was?

On January 4, 1903, at Luna Park Zoo, Coney Island, Topsy the Elephant was connected to Edison’s lighting plant, and electrocuted with 6,600 volts of AC. Of course this was after she had been fed cyanide soaked carrots to ensure her death. Topsy had been determined to be a permanent threat to humans because she had killed three handlers on three occasions. One of the incidents involved a handler, who regularly whipped her and tried to feed her a lighted cigarette just to watch her suffer. She stomped on him.

Amazingly 1,500 people watched, and no one said a word in complaint. Edison filmed the electrocution, which is available on You Tube. Isn’t it outrageous that the ASPCA, which is supposed to protect the rights of animals, considered hanging to be cruel, but had no problem with cyanide poisoning and electrocution?

There are many other incidents of the bystander effect in our history. Probably the most famous example would be the Holocaust. Let’s just all close our eyes to man’s inhumanity to man. Let someone else take care of it.

Today, not only is the bystander effect still in existence but there is also the technology available for it to go viral through social media and by other means. We can now truly destroy a person in all ways.

The recent rape conviction of two 16 year old Ohio teens is just another example of the bystander effect. Many teens were witnesses. Did they help the incapacitated teen? No, they took pictures and sent text messages to their friends.

Do you think any of these people are leaders and winners? If you do, maybe we all need to take a harder look at the definition of these terms. In closing I want you to ask yourself…who am I?

1969 Love Affair, Compassion and Life

      I have spent more time writing in a journal lately than on this blog. Sometimes I get lost in thought and I neglect to share with you the great things I see and learn.

      I have always written for myself...ok really only since I was about five. By the time I was eight years old...I knew that the journal could save my life. I could write down what I thought and not express it verbally, which was usually a good thing. It is not good when you are constantly in trouble, punished and grounded for the way your mind works....or possibly doesn't.

     You see, I have always thought outside the box. This could be because I never saw the box...figuratively or literally. My wayward thinking was not always received warmly or even welcomed...but no...that never stopped me.

    I had a handful of very close friends in those days. They included Cathy, pens, paper, coffee, music and of course God. I met Cathy when we were in the fourth grade.Cathy always appreciated my sense of humor, especially if the teachers did not. She also encouraged me to write. God gave me the appreciation of words including His. He fed me and my inclination to write.

    As I matured my writing changed. I still love to write poetry and am working on a book or two. I like to put a twist on things. Someday I will explain that. I have written about anything and every thing. I have written about McDonalds and getting stuck in the mud. I have written about spiritual nourishment, domestic violence, the plight of the elderly, being different, what life would be like as a pen, man's inhumanity to man and other injustices. I have written about friendship, love, lovers, relationships, death and a whole host of other things that you would put me in a box for. Ok maybe, you wouldn't put me in a box...but you would ground me, lol.

     Until I was about five things were pretty black and white and then they started going gray. ( and not just figuratively)  I love all of the vibrant colors that rest on the breathtaking  palette that God created...but I think even He understands my great love for the various shades of gray. Just for the record, it has nothing to do with the natural wisdom highlights that I now don.

    In the fall of 1969  I met a boy named Dickey. He was only five or six years old at the time. He had big thick braces on his legs and the most beautiful smile I have ever seen.. Sadly, I did not get to see that smile often. He had a rough way to go because at that tender age so many had not yet learned compassion or empathy. Some of his classmates would tangle his legs in his chair and he would fall when he tried to get up. Do you know what I learned?  I learned that you could punch the class bully in the mouth and not get suspended. It wasn't just because I was a girl either! (yes, I had a temper but that is a blog post for another time.)

    There was another incident when I was at Taft that stands out in my mind. Terry Gifford was my hero for a week when he stood up to another student who actually bullied the English teacher. She was an older lady even by today's standards. Bullying was a bad thing when I was a kid. There were some who were taunted and teased beyond comprehension but nothing that compares to the stories I hear today.
 
    How can you go through life and not learn compassion and empathy? I don't understand this. I know sometimes it is what you have been taught, but for crying out loud...don't we learn so much just by living.

   Living is what taught me to appreciate the subdued shades of gray...and just so you know, I would not trade the way I see the world... even for 20/20 vision.

    Until next time...

 




    

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Our Christmas Wishes

In my last post, I asked you to share your Christmas wishes. I was a little disappointed with the response but I also know people are busy.

I want to share the ones I did get with you:

Wendy Hoy -  "My christmas wish is too see my grands grow again i love watching them merry christmas cheryl and everyone may all your dreams come true!"

Lois Miller  - "My Christmas wish is that people become more aware of the world around them, thus seeing a friend or stranger in need!"

Joey Sink-Oiler - "As for my Christmas wish, it is that everyone would get to be with the people they love and care about. That has and will always mean more to me than anything else! :) Time with one another is the best gift of all."
Iris Casey -  "EVERYONE ASKS ME WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS, BUT NOT ONE PERSON CAN GIVE ME WHAT I'D REALLY LIKE!!! SO HERE IT IS (WORLD PEACE, AN LOVE ONE ANOTHER)...... LOVE AN ENJOY EACH OTHER IN THIS NEW YEAR... GOD BLESS ALL .."
I have many wishes:

I wish the hatred and intolerance of others would stop. I wish that people could disagree respectfully. There is no need for name calling or personal attacks. I want man's inhumanity to man to stop!

I want everyone to start a jar or box of blessings, good things and precious memories on January 1st, 2013 and read them all (or most) out loud to their family and friends on January 1, 2014. We will all be amazed at how truly blessed we are.

I want everyone to find peace, happiness and love. Sounds pretty lofty doesn't it? Sometimes we have to look within. If it is not there,  then look up.

I want everyone to pay it forward, it can be as simple as buying someone a cup of coffee when they are having a bad day, or share a warm open-hearted smile with a stranger. There are many, many things that you can do. Wouldn't it be wonderful if it became a habit?

I pray for world peace and the end of hunger, and my list can go on and on for hours but I will end this instead by wishing you all of the love and happiness your hearts can hold.