Thursday, July 19, 2012

Not sure why I started the blog

     I have been very fortunate all of my life. I never read a blackboard or film strip in school. My friends and classmates helped me because I was always in trouble because I couldn't see them and we would go around the room and take turns reading out loud. I could not have played sports if my teammates at Taft did not help me memorize the eye charts. I learned then that it was something that I should hide.
     My world opened up a bit when I got contact lenses at 14. I saw my first fly.  For years I did everything I could do to hide my vision problem. I got by for years. I was in college before I needed to do something about reading print. Of course I thought a new presription would fix the problem. Seemed simple enough, but within two weeks of seeing the opthamologist I received a strange letter. It was from the Massachusetts Commission for the Blind. They also sent me a nice little blindness certificate. I just didn't have the heart to frame it. I think someone was trying to tell me there was a little problem.
     Every few years I would notice that I lost a little more vision, but for the most part it was gradual and I adapted sometimes without knowing it.
     I have experienced more changes in my vision and I actually spoke to a vision counselor.
She needed to know about things I have a hard time doing. She needed at least 3. I told her reading would be nice. She asked me to give her more information about some of the things I struggled with, I had to remind myself that she was only referring to my vision or I could have given her an earful...I struggle with man's inhumanity to man, hierogliphics and the list goes on and on...but no she wanted to know more about the secret.
    I had a hard time with this...afterall...I worked so hard to hide it. She suggested that I talk to my friends about this and see what areas they thought I struggled in....boy, they told me...just kidding. I want to protect the guilty. One in my group of friends was very hesitant, afraid that I would be angry or upset because she said my biggest struggle was with DENIAL! You could have heard a pin drop.
     Apparently, I slipped up somewhere and things were becoming more noticable. I had never really thought about denial. I just considered myself stubborn. I was glad she had the guts to tell me what she thought. Part of me decided I had to face it...but I did not have to embrace it!
     That evening, I learned alot about myself and how others viewed me. I had failed in concealing all of those things I did so well for years. Curbs were becoming and issue, depth perception was interfering with my mobility and the list goes on.
     Since then I have learned that clear drinking glasses and straws are not my friend unless I enjoy constantly mopping the floor and cleaning my sinuses with a tubular piece of plastic, I can get around this easily with a few minor changes. You should not have Lysol, Raid and Hairspray in the bathroom at the same time or your hair may be germ free.
     Crushed red pepper and cinnamon may look similar but that is the only thing they have in common.  A fluffy dark t-shirt does not a cat what you pet! I could tell you more but I have to save some humor for later

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